MOVIE REVIEW! - "One Battle After Another"

Pat Calhoun (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Perfidia Beverly Hills are members of a revolutionary group known as the French 75. Hot on their tail is Col. Steven J. Lockjaw (Sean Penn), a military officer who becomes infatuated with Perfidia and wants to track down the members of the French 75.

Pat and Perfidia eventually have a child named Willa, but Perfidia can’t stay away from the revolution and abandons her family. She is eventually caught and she betrays the French 75. The members who manage to get away, including Pat with his baby daughter, go into hiding.

Sixteen years later, Lockjaw is being courted by a crazy white supremacist society known as the Christmas Adventurers Club. Due to his past relationship with Perfidia, Lockjaw decides to track down Pat, who goes by Bob now, and Willa who now goes by Charlene (Chase Infiniti) and begins raids in a sanctuary city where Bob and Charlene now live.

Leonardo DiCaprio plays Bob, a man searching for his daughter in "One Battle After Another".

Eventually, both Charlene and Bob separately become aware of their situation and a depressed and very high Bob begins to search for his daughter. This leads to a crazy cat-and-chase movie that is easily one of the best films I’ve seen this year.

Now, to be fair, this movie is two hours and forty two minutes long and roughly the first hour takes its time to set up the world. But once Bob is on the run and looking for his daughter, the movie doesn’t let up. Also, if you think I spoiled anything at the top of this review, trust me when I say that I left plenty of surprises in store for you.

The first thing to comment on is director Paul Thomas Anderson’s solid writing of an epic screwball action adventure. Anderson, along with his cinematographer Michael Bauman and a crack stunt team, create some truly amazing action sequences and intense moments.

There are car chase sequences that truly stack up to the best car chases seen in other classic films such as “Bullitt”, “The French Connection”, and “Ronin”. And the best part is that they are done practically with little to no CGI which is refreshing these days.

Benicio del Toro plays Sergio, a man who helps Bob in "One Battle After Another".

Thankfully, it’s also infused with plenty of humor, particularly from a frantic and off the chain DiCaprio. These days, DiCaprio is very choosy about the roles that he takes. After all, he has a filmography and a net worth where he doesn’t have to pick just anything to keep on working.

Thankfully, he chose this movie and he gives what I think is one of his best performances as Bob. This is a man who simply wants to raise his daughter but the ghosts of his past are never far from his thoughts as he drinks and smokes weed to try to drown them out.

The rest of the cast is solid here as well, including Infiniti as Charlene, Bob’s daughter who is not completely unaware of her dad’s past. Despite hearing his claims, though, she acts like maybe she didn’t quite believe him until she meets someone who confirms Bob’s claims.

Also in need of praise is Sean Penn as Lockjaw, a truly vile antagonist and someone you truly hope doesn’t capture his prey. Penn gives Lockjaw a unique walk and an almost robotic military personality with weird and perverted thoughts. While he has an unhealthy infatuation with Perdilia, a black woman, he is also a confirmed racist and a genuine asshole.

Finally, there is Benicio del Toro as Sergio St. Carlos, a karate instructor to Charlene and the head of an undocumented community that he helps in Baktan Cross. He’s not in the movie as much as the other characters but definitely plays a pivotal role. Once again, del Toro gives a perfect performance and creates a memorable character that you can’t help but like!

While it may take a moment to truly get going, a great cast and some of the best action in recent memory makes “One Battle After Another” one of the best films of 2025 and a winner for Anderson and his fans.

MOVIE REVIEW! - "The Long Walk"

In “The Long Walk”, 50 young men are chosen to take part in an annual contest in a dystopian version of America. The rule of the game is simple: just keep walking. However, anyone who falls below 3 miles per hour for more than 10 seconds gets two warnings but on the third time, the walker gets publicly executed. The last man standing wins a cash prize and one wish.

Some of the young men begin to befriend each other as they continue to walk down the road. In particular, Ray Garraty (Cooper Hoffman) and Peter McVries (David Jonsson) start to bond and learn more about why they are participating in such a cruel contest.

The boys are also surrounded by soldiers as they walk and they are led by the Major (Mark Hamill), a man who keeps a close eye on things from behind his mirrored sunglasses.

Fifty men must continue walking or risk getting executed in "The Long Walk".

This movie is based on a book by Stephen King that he wrote under his pseudonym Richard Bachman. The screenplay was written by JT Mollner and directed by “Constantine” director Francis Lawrence.

Both the writer and director created one brutal movie that, given its premise, is never allowed to stop. When a walker falls, you feel the impact of the loss as these men do grow to care for each other, showing that friendships can be forged in even the most dire of situations.

The only minor issue that I have with the movie is that I do wish we could have learned more about how this world came to be and how “The Long Walk” started. You only get the bare bones background that this is a dystopian world and every year, 50 people are chosen to take part in the contest.

I say that not getting a deeper look into the world is only a minor criticism, though, because truth be told, the story is not about the world these young men live, it’s about the men themselves.

Mark Hamill plays the sinister character known only as The Major in "The Long Walk".

Speaking of which, despite the solid writing and directing, this movie would absolutely fall apart if not for Hoffman and Jonsson. These two actors turn in fantastic performances and you genuinely want to cheer them on during this contest. After catching Hoffman in “Saturday Night” and Jonsson in “Alien: Romulus” and now seeing both of them in this, I’m definitely keeping an eye out for any future work of theirs.

Of course, every good protagonist needs a good antagonist and Hamill’s character, the Major, is definitely one hard son of a bitch. Hamill never takes it over-the-top and does great character work here as a man that not only works for whatever system America is now built upon but he’s the embodiment of it and the face of a now tyrannical country.

There’s really not much more I can say without getting further into spoiler territory. I’ll just say that it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a year where there were so many bangers in the horror, thriller, and horror/thriller genres.

Films like “Sinners”, “Weapons”, “Companion”, “Bring Her Back”, “Final Destination: Bloodlines”, and “28 Years Later” have already rocked the big screen. Now, you can add “The Long Walk” to the list of truly stellar horror/thrillers that we’ve received this year. This is a walk worth taking.

MOVIE REVIEW! - "The Conjuring: Last Rites"

Before I get to my review for “The Conjuring: Last Rites”, I want to give a little personal history of my relationship with “The Conjuring” films. From 2006 to 2013, the only time I was a film snob was when it came to the horror genre.

At the time, I was sick and tired primarily of the remakes and reboots that seemed to dominate the genre in the 2000s and I turned my nose up at the genre thinking, “Maybe I’ve just outgrown this genre.”

As a film critic, I would only see a horror film because I had to write a review. In 2013, I hated that the only real movie I could go see in order to turn in a review for the weekend was a new film from “Saw” director James Wan called “The Conjuring” and I went in with all the pretentiousness a film snob could have.

Then, the movie began and it displayed a serious throwback to old school 1970s demonic horror movies. Needless to say, I found myself glued to the screen. The tone was creepy, the story was well written, and Wan and his merry band of filmmakers had earned every jump scare.

The Warrens are back for one final case in 'The Conjuring: Last Rites'.

Since then, I’ve re-embraced the horror genre, first by visiting some of my old favorites such as “Halloween”, “A Nightmare on Elm Street”, “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre”, and of course, “The Exorcist”. I then caught up on some crazy horror films I missed while I was stupidly looking down on the genre, including Wan’s other great horror series, “Insidious”.

Throughout the past 12 years, I’ve enjoyed not only “The Conjuring” films but also the other films in what is known as “The Conjuring Universe”. So, now here we are, supposedly at the end of the road for the main film series with “Last Rites”.

The movie finds Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) in 1986 while enjoying a supposedly quiet and retired life. Now, the truth is Ed is a little restless because the real reason he had to retire was due to the heart attack he suffered in the third film, “The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It”. However, their daughter Judy (Mia Tomlinson) seems to have the clairvoyant touch that Lorraine has and is having terrible visions.

Meanwhile, in Pennsylvania, the Smurl family is enjoying a party after one of their children, Heather (Kila Lord Cassidy) has their confirmation in the Catholic Church. Heather’s grandparents buy her an antique mirror, but soon after, the family is terrified by terrible spirits in the house.

There's supernatural shit afoot in "The Conjuring: Last Rites".

The question is how is the plight of the Smurl family tied with the Warrens, especially Judy? That’s the mystery that the plot is centered around. Well, it’s complicated and leads me to my first complaint about the movie.

For a good chunk of the movie, the Warrens’ story and the Smurl Family’s story don’t interact with one another and you wonder when these two worlds are going to inevitably collide. They definitely could have gotten the Warrens to Pennsylvania long before they did in the movie.

Also, my other complaint is that it felt, when we were with the Warrens especially, that they really wanted to remind us about the previous films. There were plenty of throwbacks to the series that didn’t really feel necessary. I understand that the filmmakers knew this was the last film in the series, but they could have done without a few wink, wink moments.

Beyond this, though, I will say that the movie is pretty effective as a chilling horror film even if the scares aren’t quite as plentiful as some of the earlier entries. There are genuine jump scares when necessary and the third act is particularly thrilling.

The Warrens must help the Smurl family in "The Conjuring: Last Rites".

So, before I give my final verdict, I’ll say the following about the whole “Based on a True Story” thing. For those who don’t know by now, all of these movies are supposedly based on the case files of the real paranormal investigators, the Warrens.

I’ve seen some people bad mouth these films because they deviate quite a bit from the source material and some people out there don’t like the real-life Ed and Lorraine Warren, so they don’t want anything to do with the movies. However, since the beginning, I’ve always viewed these films as extremely fictional films that are absolutely, in the loosest way possible, based on stories about allegedly real hauntings.

Ed and Lorraine in the movies are almost Catholic superheroes. They’re an unassuming couple that happens to have a basement full of possessed and dangerous relics from their cases. They help families that are dealing with supernatural elements because they feel a need to and that’s another thing that has always appealed to me about these fictionalized versions of Ed and Lorraine Warren as well.

That said, back to the main review.

For me, none of the other films in “The Conjuring Universe” have ever lived up to the original movie, which I feel can now be declared a genuine horror modern day horror classic. I really enjoyed the second film and I even enjoyed “The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It”, though I can definitely admit that I think it’s the weakest in the series.

I don’t think that “The Conjuring: Last Rites” is as good as either “The Conjuring” and “The Conjuring 2”. It has a slow start and takes a little two long getting the story to gel together even though they do get there. But the important thing is that by the time the credits rolled, I had a good time at the theaters.

If “Last Rites” is to truly be the final film with Wilson and Farmiga as Ed and Lorraine, then I’m satisfied with the final film in a series that helped me remember my love for the horror genre and I definitely recommend that you check it out!

MOVIE REVIEW! - "The Toxic Avenger" (2025)

In 1974, Lloyd Kaufman and friend Michael Herz created Troma Entertainment, a small indie studio that soon became known for their low-budget B movies and splatter films that more than pushed the envelope of what was tasteful at the time. In 1984, Troma Entertainment released “The Toxic Avenger” and it quickly became their best known film. The movie spawned a few sequels and even a Saturday morning cartoon called “Toxic Crusaders”

Today, Troma is still kicking it as the oldest known indie film studio that’s not only still around but still independent. Unsurprisingly, Troma decided that they wanted to reboot their most coveted movie.

Thankfully, Troma along with Legendary Entertainment have brought us an exquisite horror comedy splatter film that lives up to the legacy. In the new movie, Peter Dinklage plays Winston Gooze, a janitor for a massive evil corporation called BTH. Winston also has a stepson, Wade (Jacob Tremblay), that he is trying to take care of since Wade’s mother recently passed away.

Unfortunately, for Winston, he learns that he has terminal brain cancer. When his evil boss, Bob Garbinger (Kevin Bacon), has him fired instead of helping him, Winston attempts to steal money from the company.

Peter Dinklage is about to go through a wild transformation in "The Toxic Avenger"!

In another turn of events, though, he has a run-in with a young woman named JJ Doherty (Taylour Page), someone who is trying to expose BTH’s corruption and he ends up getting the short end of the stick when the goons chasing after JJ end up throwing him into a vat of toxic waste.

Of course, a new hero is born that soon becomes known as the Toxic Avenger! Now, Winston not only has to contend with Bob’s men including his little brother, Fritz (Elijah Wood), but also several other bad men who have ties with Bob.

Now, that may seem like I’ve given away a lot, but that’s just the set up for what has to be one of the best horror comedy splatter films that I’ve seen in some time. Dinklage is great as Toxie (and kudos to Luisa Guerreiro in the Toxie suit) and he knows not just to play to the humor inherent in the role, but he also remembers that this movie has a weird sort of heart in the middle of it with a man who just wants to care for his son.

Never fear, Toxie is here to save the day!

His supporting cast is great as well including Paige as JJ. Paige is sort of the “straight” character to all the weirdness that’s happening around her but she also has quite a few funny moments herself.

Bacon also knows the assignment here and plays Bob big and proud but he never takes it too over-the-top for his performance to be a distraction. This movie is essentially a gory live-action cartoon and he plays that for everything its worth. Wood is also great as his creepy balding brother Fritz and Wood is also game for what’s featured in this zany script.

Then there is the world that all these people live in: St. Roma’s Village. This fictional city is a cartoon world come to life as well. Often, you don’t just find yourself laughing at the main characters onscreen. There are plenty of times that something happens or is said in the background that gets your attention and your laughs and this feels like a surprisingly lived in world.

I suppose the only thing I could criticize with this movie is that it’s always going to go for the joke no matter how cheap the joke is. That means that there are plenty of jokes that don’t quite stick the landing. But again, that’s inevitable with a movie that has this much goofball antics.

Another topic to note is that this is a crazy gory film with plenty of crude blood and guts. Now, for me, this is just what makes a good splatter film, but there are those out there that don’t like gore of any type in their films. So I’m just noting that there was plenty of fake blood sacrificed in order to make this movie.

I’ll admit, I was a little concerned when they said that they were rebooting Toxie as I am concerned when most remakes or reboots are announced. And then the film sat on a shelf for two years, which also led to some concern with how the final film turned out. 

Thankfully, the movie is out now and I’m happy to report that “The Toxic Avenger” is a great movie for fans of the original and fans of anything bloody and funny, often at the same time. Welcome back, Toxie!